Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Perhaps I Could Join the Circus?

I used to teach piano, you may know. Just beginners, though--don't want to mess anyone up too badly, right?

I had some awesome piano students. I think they entertained me more than I ever taught them piano. But hopefully they learned something. Kids are funny. Some of my students LOVED me, couldn't stand to see me move away. Others seemed to think I was a crazy lady. They never came right out and said it, but I have my suspicions. Let me tell you about some of my faves:

MCKENNA was deathly afraid of dogs, so I always had to make sure our dog was nowhere in sight when she came over or she couldn't even have a lesson due to excess emotional trauma.

KENDRA was somewhere off in left field or something. I never did completely figure her out. She was 11 and I pretty much taught her the same lesson every week because she wasn't able to grasp a concept for forever. And even when I thought she had gotten it I'd find out a few lessons later, when she acted like she'd never heard it before in her life, that she hadn't quite yet. I got a lot of blank stares from Kendra.

Whenever she saw me at the school, though, she would yell, "HI planno teacherrrr!" I don't think she had any idea what my name was, but she knew I was her planno teacher. So that's good.

Her lesson was right after school and she would always walk the half-block to my house in extreme bladder distress and then come panting up to my door, pleading desperately to use my bathroom, as if she thought I might just turn her down. One time she had to stop in the middle of the street and put down her backpack just to get a better grip on her full crotch-hold. It may have been that day that I mentioned she might want to go at school first so she wouldn't be so uncomfortable walking up the street.

"Okay, (...pant, pant...tightencrotchhold...pottydance), but," she says, "can I just use yours for today?!"

Oh, Kendra. Kendra, Kendra, Kendra. Of course you can use mine. *Closedeyesheadshake*.

ROMAN. Everybody called him ROman except for his mom. She called him RoMAHN. I was always undecided on whether I should go with the accepted American pronunciation or the obviously correct Latin pronunciation. So I pretty much flip-flopped every other time-ish. Come to think of it, he prob thought I was a weirdo even before this next incident ever occurred.

During one lesson Roman looked at me quizzically and said I had a hair on my lip. Wait. We need pictures for this story. Here, I'll act it out in pictures.

So, he says I have a hair on my lip.

"Oh," I say, as I brush my lip off, "Did I get it?"

" Like.........*cringeface*.........a mustache."



Tell it like it is, Ro.
Just tell it like it is.


Brooke Shoko said...

why are you so good at telling stories?

Suzanne Reese said...

Oh yeah, another great one from Keem the Queen of the Stories. And of course I have another, but it involves a complete beard, and a recent one at that, so I'll save it for my own blog. Love the facepalm! (And how do you stay so stinkin' pretty?)

Misty said...

LOL in the middle of this airport. Thanks for the laugh. And whatever for telling me that Bob is the one who plays piano in your fam. You taught?!?

Melanie said...

Kimi, you are the best. I laughed so hard! I want to be as funny as you when I grow up.

Melwel said...

The pics totally make it

Si said...

The pics of your lovely hair free face totally make the story! love you. oh my the wrod veri is "suckil".

staceygriff said...

love it. thanks for making my day. I needed. I love the honesty of kids. laying in bed reading to Miles the other night he said to me"mom you have a double chin" I said "thanks Miles for telling me that", then he went on to say "no really you do have a double chin, it's right here (then he touches my lovely double chin)". Kids can make us feel so wonderful. tee hee. I love your photo's.