Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Am I Being Punked Right Now?

I've been sick for days, but I still have to do stuff since I have that one job: Mom. Today I had to go to the fabric store with Andie to buy some material for a school thing. We picked out a lovely metallic stretch fabric that was 30% off and went to have it cut at the cutting table. There was one customer there who had just finished getting her fabric cut and then she left. So it was just me. And so I put my fabric on the table and the cutting table worker lady said, "Oh! Did you take a number," as she pointed to the little number dispenser. Are you kidding me, I thought. I'm the only person anywhere near this table. Isn't that just a waste of paper? I noticed a digital display up high showing a big number 20 as I took number 21 from the dispenser.

As I stood there, swaying faintly from weakness and nausea, I watched her fiddle around superslowly with whatever she could think of. I closed my eyes for a little micronap and also so I wouldn't make an Are You Serious? face at her, because that would be a little rude. But HOLY COW!

After a very long minute or so she ran out of things to 'do' but didn't so much as look up at me before she walked in the opposite direction over to a phone. I could NOT believe it when she held the handpiece to her mouth like a microphone and announced over the loudspeaker, "Attention customers: we are now serving number twenty one at the cutting table. Serving number twenty one."

Then she walked back over to me and said, "What can I do for you," as if she had just now noticed me standing there.

Okay, now I couldn't help it. I pointedly turned my head in both directions, looking at the NOBODY who was standing ANYWHERE within shooting distance and gave her a semi-subtle incredulous look, otherwise known as the Am I On Candid Camera? face. I set my fabric on the table, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a sarcastic smirk, gave my head a defeated little shake, and said, "5 yards, please."