Monday, April 11, 2011

Note to an Absentminded Musician:

BONO, why don't you just tell me what it is so I can help you look? This has been going on far too long. When you first said you couldn't find it I felt bad and wished you the best and everything. But then you kept going on and on about it. Every time I turned around there you were, whining again. Geez!

By and by you've lightened up a little and only lamented occasionally, but still, I find myself silently asking, "Seriously, Bono? Still?"

I just heard you keening again the other day and I mean it's been like 25 years! Come! On! Either find it or move on already!

I'm sorry my friend, but I have to ask: are you sure you're really even looking?!

Saturday, April 02, 2011

If You Go There...Take a Jacket

It seems there is a phenomenon following me around called, "If you go there, it will be cold."

If you were to ask me what my ideal vacation would be I would tell you: Somewhere Warm. That's it. My only request. It can be an hour away, a day away, on the other side of the globe. Doesn't matter, as long as the sun is shining.

A few years ago some friends and I were sick and tired of the inversion in Bountiful. Spring was coming, but not fast enough and we wanted to be warm. We decided to take a little grrltrip to a foolproof warm zone: Phoenix, AZ. Or was it Tempe? Who even cares? Either way, we should have been safe, right? Wrong. For the few days we were there all we heard was, "It's so strange! It's NEVER this cold this time of year! NEVER!" We couldn't even get in the pool, we just sat on lounge chairs near the pool in our jackets and read our books while some stupid little kids who were too young to care about being cold shivered in the water. Bust.

Then there was China. Though it was actually slightly warmer than predicted that time, that's not saying much because China in December is riDONKulously, brutally cold. The humid winter air and frigid winds are SO not cool. Well, yes, cool--but not in a good way. So I told my traveling companions that next time we need to go somewhere WARM.

Los Angeles! Yes! "It's crazy! Just last week it was SO WARM! It's just a crazy cold spell--don't know how to explain it." Uh huh. Whatever. Good thing the company was awesome. The day after we left, you'll never believe it...super HOT!

San Francisco? Sounded iffy to me. Let's just say I now have a darling souvenir jacket from Pier 39. At least they had hot chocolate here and there in SF.

Next? I think it was prob Park City. In the winter. Enough said, right?

Then it was Las Vegas for the National Finals Rodeo. Fun trip. Fun friends. Cold weather.

Oh my gosh! For Spring Break we've flown the fam to South Carolina and rented a beach house on Harbor Island! SOUTH Carolina. In the SOUTH. I promise a guy said this as we picked up our rental: "It's been so hot! It was so hot just yesterday! I don't know why it's cold today, but it's supposed to get warmer in a few days, don't worry." For 3 days it has been windy and chilly, even rainy. Yesterday we tried to go to Hunting Beach. We walked out on the pier and after watching a few birds get hauled off in the air by the fierce winds, and me imagining (for no logical reason) how awful it would be to fall off the giant pier into the freezing, roiling waves, we all ran back to the car and cranked on the heater. I've been running on the beach every morning, but unibomber-style with my hoodie tied tightly against my sunglasses so I don't get a headache from the cold wind boxing my ears.

It was actually warmish today. Beautiful, really. We went to the beach and watched Christian try out his skim board. The water was still too cold for any intelligent person to swim in (haha, mostly kidding, Christian!). But it's supposed to be warm again tomorrow. Notice I say warm. There's no chance of hot, but at this point warm sounds pretty great. I'll take it!

Not that we haven't had a great time. It's been a blast. We can always have fun, regardless of the weather. And a vacay is a vacay. But I am still on my quest for a very warm to hot vacation, and starting to wonder if the problem isn't,