Revvin' My Engines (Sorry!)

One time I was at my daughter Andie's softball game, watching from the car because I'm a wussy girl and I don't like to be cold. At all. Even if my children are outside being cold. No sense in both of us being cold, I say. So I was hanging out in the car with Maddie and we were chattin' it up, even though there was some kind of loud motor sound going on around us. It was in the background sort of, so I didn't think much of it, other than thinking there was some construction going on or something. Eventually Maddie said, "What is that horrible sound?" "I know, right?" I said. Pause. Why is everyone looking at us? I thought. All the people who chose to stay out in the cold were looking my way. Don't judge me! I came early to get this front-row parking spot so I could watch from the car. I do it every week. You're just jealous that you didn't think of it early enough to get the spot! I worked hard to get this spot! Then I noticed my foot. It was pressed to the floor. With the gas pedal under it. Embaaaarrassiiiiiiing!

Is that all? Of course not. After the terrorized crowd got back to watching the game, I wedged my knee up on the steering wheel, partly to keep my foot from pressing the gas pedal to the floor again, and partly to get comfy while I read my book, er, uh, watched the game.

Oh, that poor little girl.

I'm talking about the child who walked in front of my car just as I shifted my position to get a little more comfy and accidentally pushed my knee into the horn. Poor thing jumped a mile. I tried to give her the "never mind" sign when she looked at me with a question (and possibly a tear) in her eyes, but I didn't really know that one, so I winged it and made some strange hand signal that only had her more confused. Then I tried to go with the "that was an accident" sign, but I'm not really proficient in my international gestures, so by then she thought she'd better just walk away from the creepy woman in the car who revvs her engine at the crowd and honks her horn at little girls and makes weird imaginary sign language motions.

At least Andie had a great game. I'm pretty sure.