Monday, September 12, 2011

Colleege! Observations From an Overaged Student

How is school going, you ask? Well, let me tell you: it's going great! Yes, there were the typical first-and-second-day disasters that everyone has, like having the sprinkler come on in your face at lunchtime and being doused in a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup. But really, just the usual stuff.

And, well, I guess there's the one thing where I look like a big loser eating lunch by myself EVERY DAY. But aside from that I am having a blast. I love being in the classroom. I love the teachers, the assignments, the atmosphere. If I were going to night classes or something, there would probably be plenty of other people my age. But I go during the daytime. Regular school hours. And I am one of two older students in each of my classes. Except the other ones are like 30. I don't mind. I actually kinda like it. When introducing myself in one class I told them if they can't remember my name they can just call me mom. They are the same age as at least 2 of my children, although far more diverse.

Let's face it, SLCC is cheap. Which is why I'm going there for now. But that also makes it the County Fair* of colleges. For one thing, there is no dress code. I have a problem with that because of the many unwelcome bodyparts I am forced to know way too much about due to the child-sized dollar store clothes (or is it GenX?) which many of my schoolmates choose to wear. But I can't help being fascinated by it at the same time. And the conversations I overhear are also very...entertaining. My favorite: "Yeah, well, when she gets out of prison I'm not even gonna talk to her!" Me neither, buddy. And why do you have a tattoo on your neck?

The tattoos are another story, but you already know that. I do. not. get it.

So, here is a funny story for you that happened last week: I was sitting by myself at lunch, AS USUAL, and may I say right here that it is a shame about that because the people-watching is fabulous there and I have no one to share it with. But anyways, so I was sitting at an outside table, looking like a loser but trying to look like I meant to sit by myself, possibly because no one else was cool enough to sit by me, but more likely because I'm old and don't have any friends...yet. And I heard this girl going around to groups of people asking very enthusiastically whether or not they'd heard that the Plain White T's are coming to campus!!! <--Her exclamations, not mine.

Eventually she got to the cool-kids'-table-for-one, came up behind me and exclaimed, "Did you hear the Plain White T's are coming to campus?!!!" I took a flyer from her and said, "Oh, cool!" She continued her spiel as she walked around to the front of my table and finally looked at me. At that point she hesitated. "Um...if you maybe have some kids...or...," and that's when she saw the look on my face which must have accurately communicated how UNcool that was what she just said to me, and she tried backpedaling, "or...if maybe you like them...or...," as she backed away and quickly moved on to her next appropriate-aged clients. To quench my feelings of insult and also to prove her wrong, even though she wouldn't ever know, I grabbed my iPod and pulled up the 5 Plain White T's songs I have on there. Ha! So there! And then I tried to evaluate the situation. What exactly was bothering me? That she recognized how old I am? Well, I am. That she had the audacity to assume I have kids old enough to go to a Plain White T's concert? Well, I do. In the end I realized what really bothered me was that I was bothered so much by it. THAT's the part that makes me old!  "How DARE you guess my correct age! Why I oughtta!"

Sheesh. Old people.

*When you are at the County Fair, don't you always wonder where did all these people come from? Do they live in the county limits? Why don't I ever see them any other time except sometimes at Walmart? Where do they hide out the rest of the year? Do they just wait for the County Fair and then say, "ColbyAnn, getcher tube top on! We're headin' to our once-a-year outing: the COUNTY FAIR!" And then when they grow up they go to SLCC, I guess.


Erin Blake said...

ha ha ha ha

OK. Lagoon also equals ColbyAnn in her tube top. Right? Totally.

Also, are you getting all shy on me, because why didn't you just say something witty to her? You know, like you ALWAYS do..wit the heck out of that girl.

I would sit by you if I went back to school in like biology or something.

Anonymous said...

Hay! you aren't much overageder than I was and I was in school full time, full time job, Buncha kids, and I had a few friends at school. (not many, cause I had almost no time after school, work, kids, etc.) (("kids" includes soccer, band, dancing etc)) But speaking of overaged students, one of my classmates was Dixie Decker. I'm sure you wouldn't remember her. She and her husband Joe were in Germany with us and we used to swap baby-sitting with them. He was a Doctor, making them even older than us. Stop worrying about being older. Revel in knowing waaay more than the other kids (and even more than some of the teachers) and ENJOY!!!

Kimi said...

Thanks, Dad. And don't worry, I totally consider myself superior to all those youngies. And I'm having a great time!

Erin: that's part of what bugged me--that I didn't just start laughing and joke about how I must have scared her by being so old and stuff.

Suzanne Reese said...

Makes me wish I was at SLCC so I could have lunch at the cool table and make fun of all the little doofus kids. You do watch Community don't you? You totally have to. Not that I'm saying it's anything by it, but I bet you'd get some good oneliners for those yungstas!

Melwel said...

Love you and your witty observations.

Oh, and I agree about the fair and walmart.

Taffy said...

You got squirted in the face by the sprinkler? Did you go by the water on purpose because you wet your pants? *covers mouth while trying to hide laughing*
How funny if you would've thrown the one liner back at her. "I'm not talking to you when you get out of jail."(I can't type I'm laughing so hard).

Taffy said...

You should get a composition book and write down all your observations, one liners, fun names, strange clothing/piercings/tats. Maybe you'll get extra credit! And you'll have a cool collection for me, I mean, for your blog.

Becky said...

I am definitely coming to eat lunch with the coolest ole' lady round so we can people watch. I cannot think of a more enjoyable activity than us old codgers looking at all of those belly button piercings and tattoos! What time is lunch?!