Dear Diet: You are making me so boring. Thinner? Yeah, sure. Healthier? Prob. But I'm still on the fence about whether you're worth it. I am no fun to be around these days. Heck, I don't even like hanging out with myself that much. I appreciate what you're trying to do, really I do, but I hope you understand when I say that when this is all over I'm moving on. Three more weeks and you're outta here. Make that two and a half.
Dear Winter: Why?
Dear Spring: Everybody loves you, I know. But I think you're just a big tease. And I think you love it, getting everybody's hopes up, just to dash them a few days later. Yeah, you get me good every single year. I fall for your tricks, try as I might to keep my guard up. Ooohhh, you're good.
Dear Earrings: Do ya'll plan that out? That thing where one of you goes off somewhere and the other stays where I put you? And then you switch off and the first one shows up in some random place, but then the other one isn't in the original spot anymore? That's funny. Now stop it.
My Dear Children: Would you stop aging? Please?
Dear Cotton: You are so soft and comfortable, warm or cool as needed, versatile and affordable. But.......why you always gotta SHRINK like that?
Dear Hot Chocolate: I know. Shhhh, I know. I miss you too. It's gonna be okay. Don't tell the Diet, but when I finish up with him, you and me, we're back on. That's right, HC, we're about to start up again. Big time.